Family Travel planning and how to tackle flying with kids

Ok here it is! The post I’ve had the most requests for, and the post that's taken me weeks to write as the kids decided to demonstrate everything you hope they don't do on a flight.

No one likes flying with kids, whether you are another passenger or the parent or responsible adult travelling with the child, it just puts everyone on edge. The passengers surrounding you are waiting for the kicking of the back of the seat or the melt down to start. The adults travelling with the child are on edge waiting for the same thing to happen and worried about what the other passengers will be thinking. But that shouldn’t stop you from taking that flight with your little loves.

Air travel is so much more accessible to the general public than it once was, and surprisingly can be a lot cheaper than travelling via coach or train, which is ironic since those other methods generally take a great deal longer. Also, for the most part people are used to seeing children on planes now and it’s become the norm. It’s almost unusual to be on a flight without at least one child on it.

We first flew with our son when he was 16 months old and I was worried about how it would go. We had a short stop to meet our connecting flight and it was in a time that flights were getting delayed left and right as air travel started to return to normal after COVID. Ironically it was this same trip, that we caught COVID, after managing to avoid it for the better part of three years. Thankfully the flight went well, not sure if it was the love of planes that our son had at the time that helped but he loved looking out the window at the other planes as we waited to pull back. We had snacks and a drink handy to give to him if his ears started to giving him trouble, but he ended up sleeping most of the first flight. The second flight also went pretty well, the same thing, he loved looking at the window and we got out a book we had with us, be we didn’t really need much to keep him entertained. We thought we had a unicorn, until he was 21 months old then we started to have a bit more trouble keeping him entertained on flights and we continue to have trouble keeping him entertained on flights now, since he changes his mind every 5 minutes about what he wants to do, but generally he’s a good flyer. Our daughter was 4 months old when we first flew with her and she was a little more difficult to entertain at first, but eventually went to sleep. Most flights, we’ve had someone comment on how well the kids travelled or behaved, or something along those lines, part of me says “thanks”, while thinking what would you be saying to me if they screamed the whole trip.

We’ve personally only flown domestically with children, however, we have experienced delayed flights, super short connections, cancelled flights, and full travel days with multiple stops, while wrangling kids. Having said that I still have a lot of tried and tested tips that will hopefully make flying with kids a little easier. I also have a number of tips that I’ve picked up during my time working in the travel industry.

Be prepared for anything to happen

The best advice I can give is to be prepared for the melt downs, the constant change in activities, the overtired, over stimulated, and dysregulated children. Be prepared for anything that can go wrong, to go wrong. If you are prepared for something to go wrong or the whole journey to just be chaos, it will make it that little bit easier to accept and deal with what comes your way and just go with the flow.

Tip: if your child gets scared focus on comfort and distraction. Hold their hand, give them cuddles, tell them jokes, sing songs, read a book or tell a story. If you’re calm and unfazed by the flight, it will help calm them.

Prepare them for the trip / get them involved

In the lead up to the flight talk to them about it, be honest, mention it might be long time to sit, but the long flight is needed to get to somewhere fun. Most importantly though is to focus on the fun stuff, like the special activities, special plane meals, anything about the flight that you know will excite them.

Get them involved by picking out a book, toy, activity or snack to take on the plane. This gives them something familiar they can ask for once on board.

Food and Snacks

I don’t know what it is, but our kids eat like they have never been fed before, when they are on a flight. So, I always have zip lock bags full of cut up fruits and other foods they like, the zip lock bags make it easier to dispose of uneaten food and you don’t have the issue of the whole lunch box being knocked on the ground and spilling everywhere. I’ll also have a few treats hidden away in the bag to pull out. I also allow a small budget to purchase something extra on the flight if needed and if snacks aren’t included in the fare, the cheese and crackers packs always go down a treat and aren’t to badly priced for plane food at around $5.00. Chewing on food also helps to “pop” the ears if and when they become blocked.

One thing to keep in mind is where you are travelling to, not just internationally, but domestically as well, you may be required to throw away any uneaten food, especially fruits, on arrival. Make sure you declare what you have and you shouldn’t have any issues, they will just show you where to dispose of it.

Tip: Feed the kids before the flight to ensure they are content with a full tummy, and pre book kid’s meals for the flight if your fare includes meals.

Drinks

Have a toddler cup or small drink bottle full of water ready for your flight and offer regular sips. This will help them stay hydrated, but the swallowing action also helps relieve pressure in their ears. The same for bubs, put them on the boob or give them a bottle during ascent and descent as the sucking and swallowing action helps relieve the pressure in their ears.

Remember some airports don’t allow you to take drinks through gate security, usually international flights, so even if you have purchased a drink at the airport after you’ve passed through the main security, you may be required to throw out your drink once you get to your gate. You can take empty drink bottles through in most cases, and sometimes there is vending machines in the gate lounge after gate security. I got caught out in Dubai when I purchased two bottles of water for the flight and then had to bin them at gate security, as the airports I had travelled through prior to this particular trip didn’t have this requirement.

Tip: If you have a straw sippy cup or straw drink bottle, unscrew the top slightly to release the pressure that has built up from the pressurised cabin, otherwise when you open the cap or pop the straw up on the cup or bottle water will squirt out from the pressure. You usually only need to do this once at the start of the flight and sometimes when you land. Also don’t forget to screw the top back on properly before handing the cup or bottle over.

Airport

Give yourself plenty of time to get to the airport, check in / drop bags and get through security.

Once you’re through security suss out what direction your gate is, then have a wander around, grab a snack or meal. I like to find somewhere to sit that has a view of the planes or runway, this is both for the kids, but we’re also a plane loving family so we all get to enjoy watching the planes come and go. Talk to the kids about going on the plane and how the airport works. If you have a one of the airport books I suggested in my 26 Travel Themed Gifts for Children post, you can reference this.

Walking around with your kids will help them burn off some energy before the flight, so I always allow time for this. Evening finding a quiet spot in the airport or at one of the gate lounges is good as you can let them have a muck around without disturbing anyone. Even finding other kids to play with is great. We’ve made many airport friends on our travels.

If you have access to a lounge, take advantage of it, apart from the food to feed them up, the whole experience might get them excited for the flight. Some of the larger airports like Dubai, have lounges you can pay to access.

If we haven’t found a spot near the gate already, we like to head closer to the gate around 30/20mins before the flight (depending on the size of the airport), this gives us time to go to the toilet near the gate, do a nappy change and prepare for the flight.

Tip: while you want them to burn off energy before the flight, it’s handy to have a compact travel stroller or carrier that you can take on board. These can make the longer walks between gates at the airport easier. It can also be a life saver when you reach your destination and have to wait for luggage and then wait to go through customs, with irritable and tired kids.

Flight Attendants

Most flight attendants have seen it all when it comes to children on planes and some have some great tips, so make friends with them and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Kids will usually listen to the flight attendants over parents as well, so flag a flight attendant down when they start jumping around in their seat or kicking the seat in front.

Activities

We have a stash of travel only books, toys and activities, that we only pull out when travelling. Having separate toys helps keep the kids interested in them a little longer. We also rarely use the tablet or phone for games and screen time other than when travelling, so this is a treat in itself. Pre load games and movies onto your device before you leave home and test that they work.

A new toy, activity or book for flights is a nice surprise for them as well – just something small and non-expensive works, that way if it gets lost it’s not a huge deal as well. Some airlines also have small kids’ activity packs that you can purchase during the flight. Qantas have Joey packs that they usually give children, if they don’t give you one, just ask if they have any.

Tip: Make sure you have headphones if you are planning to use electronic devices for entertaining your children. Also take an airline headphone socket adapter.

Tip: Make sure all electronic devices and headphones are fully charged before the flight and carry a charging cable with you as a lot of planes now have USB ports for charging devices, you can usually find somewhere to do a top up charge at airports as well.

Tip: Don’t take too many activities on the flight, consider the length of your flight and pack a few to rotate through. Anything you take just adds to your carry on and what need to lug around.

Get moving

Get up and walk up and down the aisle with them, while it’s preferred that passengers stay seated, everyone on the flight would prefer to have you walk up and down the aisle for a bit to entertain the kids than to have them screaming or kicking the back of the seat. Larger planes used for international flights will often have a galley or space near the bulkhead and toilets that you can stand in to stretch your legs. Moving is also great for circulation.

To priority board or not to priority board?

A lot of airlines will priority board people travelling with children, this can be great as it gives you a little extra time and room to get kids into seats and sort out what goes in the overhead compartments and what stays with you in the seat. However, it does lengthen the amount of time you are on the plane.

Location and Seats

There is plenty of debate about the best place to sit on a plane when you have kids, but the truth is the best seats are the ones that work for you, and you’re not always guaranteed them. There’s advantages and disadvantages, no matter where you sit on a plane, it’s just a matter of finding what works for you.

I’ve listed some of the pros and cons of different seats and locations of the plane to help you weigh up your options.

Bulkhead – this eliminates the issue of your kids kicking the back of the seat in front of you and often they will have a little more leg room, which allows your kids to get in and out of their seat to stretch their legs or sit on the floor for a bit. There are also downfalls of bulkhead seats, like, some airlines charge extra for these seats. On international flight this is where the bassinets are hung, which means you may have someone else’s baby hanging in front of you. You will also need to make sure your carry on is stored in the overhead compartments during take-off and landing.

Window seat – not only to they have something to look at and you can talk about what you can see out the window, but if you are flying with an in-lap infant, it gives you a little more space. If you’re selecting your seat though, think about the direction you are travelling and where the sun will be. A couple of times I’ve been assigned seats and have had the sun streaming in the window as we are preparing for landings and have to have the window shade open, making a clam and asleep baby or toddler grumpy and vocal.

Back of the plane – you’re tucked up the back away from most passengers. You’re usually near the toilets for quick access if they aren’t busy, though being near the toilet means you’ll have traffic, lines and noise, and sometimes smell, at times throughout the flight which may disturb the kids. The flight attendants are usually not far away, depending on the aircraft and there’s a good chance other kids may be near the back of the plane to make friends with. Unfortunately, you’ll likely be one of the last people of the plane, which if your child is losing it and wants to get off can feel like the other passengers are taking weeks to disembark. If you’re in the back row you can recline your seat without causing issues, however sometimes the last row seats won’t recline as there isn’t enough room.

Front of the plane – usually quicker to get on and off the plane. Depending on the aircraft the flight attendants may be closer to you, and you may be one of the first to get service / meals. The front of the plane is often smoother, so it could help if any of your travelling party suffers from motion sickness.

Middle of the plane – if you have a window, the wings, lights, and engines all provide something extra to look at. Depending on the aircraft and airline, you may be one of the first to get service / meals.

Aisle seats – offer easier access to get in and out of the row, if you aren’t part of a family unit that takes up the whole row.

Tip: Newer aircrafts such as A380 and Dreamliner are quieter which makes it easier for little ones to sleep. Some of the older smaller aircrafts are very noisy around the wings and back of the plane.

Tip: If the flight is over 5 hours and your little one is 18 -23 months old consider paying the extra to get them their own seat. It will make the trip more comfortable for everyone.

Tip: Always check your seat allocation, you’re never guaranteed to be seated together, although airlines will do their best it’s not always possible. We had a flight cancelled last year and the flight we were put on the next day was full and when we got our new tickets my husband and I were seated across the aisle and a row apart and our 2 year old was sitting 5 rows back in the middle seat. We notified the gate staff as soon as we got to the airport and they managed to reassign our seat, we didn’t mind if we weren’t all together, but we wanted at least one of us with our son for obvious reasons.

Tip: Call the airline and ask them nicely if they can block the seat between you if the flight isn’t too busy, this will give you 3 seats for you to spread out in. Some airlines will even do this automatically for you.

Tip: if the armrests move, fold them up, this buys you an extra 5-10cm of space and makes cuddles and sleeping a little easier.

Pack light

I find the less carry on we have the better now that we have kids as you will already have your hands full with the kids. I usually have the nappy bag with the usual nappy bag items, as well as the tablet, snacks and drinks, depending on how many toys/activities we are taking sometimes they will be in the nappy bag or in a small kids’ back pack, hubby usually has a backpack with his must haves and a few random things. I find backpacks easier, as they free up your hands for kids and boarding passes.

Tip: Take a change of clothes for everyone in your carry on – kids get everything on you.

Tip: Check with the airline for any prohibitable items and carry-on luggage size and weight limits as these can change not just between airlines, but between aircraft types.

Tip: If you aren’t keeping a separate nappy bag, keep a couple of nappies, wipes and a thin change mat / liner handy, that way you can easily find it. Not all aircrafts have change tables on board so the mat or liner will give something to put bub on while changing them.

Extra Time

Allow extra time for everything, not only do things take a bit longer with little ones in tow, but if/when something doesn’t go as planned it will give you a bit of time to sort it out (unless it’s right before boarding).

Sleep Aids / Bassinets

If you have a bub, ask your travel agent, or contact your airline, to request a bassinet if they are available on your flight. Please note you may not be seated next to the bassinet, and you will also need to pick up bub or bring them back to your seat every time the seatbelt light comes on.

Kids sleep aids such as plane beds and hammocks have become very popular in recent years, with a variety of brands and types available. I personally haven’t used or tried one yet, but am interested to see how well they work. However not all airlines allow them, or they might only allow a certain type or brand, so make sure you contact your airline to check before you purchase one for your flight.

Car Seats & Harnesses

Using a car seat or seat harness on a flight can make the flight more comfortable and safer for your child, though not all airlines and aircrafts allow them to be used, or they may only allow a certain type or brand. Make sure you contact your airline to check before you fly and / or purchase a seat or harness for your flight. If you are travelling with your own car seat, using it on the plane will save it from getting damaged as checked luggage, so that’s another advantage.

Tip: if you are taking the car seat with you to use in a hire car while overseas, be sure to check the car seat compliance requirements of the country you are travelling to as even though Australia has a high standard when it comes to car seats, there are some countries where an Australian car seat is not compliant.

Travel Time and Stops

A lot of people would say to book the most direct flight with the shortest stops, which I get, you know, get the flight over with as soon as possible. But I have found that booking flights the most direct flight (least number of stops), but a good length of time before your connection, gives everyone a chance to stretch their legs and burn of some energy. Having a break from the plane helps with the “cabin fever” kids get. Even add a stop over if your flying long haul, Singapore Airlines, Emirates and Etihad all have great stopover packages, and it allows everyone to have a good rest, and helps with keeping routines and adjusting to time zones.

Best time to fly

Another greatly debated topic for flying with kids is what time to fly.

Flights that have a mid to late afternoon arrival time work well. This gives you time to collect bags, clear customs (if travelling internationally), pick up your hire car and stuff around with the car seats, or get your transfer, bus, etc to your accommodation. As well as time to settle in, unpack and figure out what to do for tea. It allows you to go straight into the evening routine which will help with the tired children, leaving everyone well rested for the next day to start your holiday.

If you can match an afternoon arrival with a flight that allows the kids to get up at their normal wake up time and have breakfast this will make a huge difference to the day as they’ve been able to keep their morning routine and may just help with the rest of the day.

Nighttime flights can also be adventurous in the fact that cabin lights are dimmed, however the change in activity and scene will likely have kids wired and not wanting to sleep. They may also already be tired and grump from the day and it could make getting on a plane an even bigger deal.

With younger children that still nap, a departure time close to, but before nap time has worked on a number of occasions, as it takes them a little bit to settle down from the stimulation of the new environment, so by time they settle it’s usually pretty close to their normal nap time and helps them drift off to sleep a bit easier.

Though, every kid is different and you know them best so if there is a time of the day when your child is calmer, easier to entertain, or just your gut is telling you a particular time, look for a flight that fits.

Tip: for night flights dress them in PJs, this will help keep the sleep routine.

Business Class

Fly business class! I know I hear you saying yeah right! It’s definitely not the cheaper way to travel and the people flying business class seem to be more inclined to get a bit grumpy about a child having a meltdown, but all that extra room and attention from the flight attendants, not to mention the lounge access before the flight (if there’s a lounge at the airport), does make a difference. I business class seats for the whole family using Frequent Flyer points and pay for a 2-hour domestic flight (on the day we were flying there wasn’t much different in points and price to an economy seat). I than forgot that I had done this, so it was a nice surprise when we got to the airport and questioned about our son sitting what looked to be separate from us (not registering that we were in row 3). It was the best flight we have had with our kids, having a wider seat meant lots of room for bub to spread out and move around on my lap. The extra leg room also meant neither child was accidently or purposefully kicking the back of the seat in front. Not to mentioned all the food that was consumed in the lounge prior to the flight meant full bellies. Then we were served a “4 course meal” on the flight and the flight attendants even came up with an alternative meal option for our son.

Check Airlines Prohibited items list and flying with children info

I touched on this above, but all airlines differ, so if you are planning to take anything child related onboard with you, e.g. plane bed, car seat, seat harness, etc, call the airline to confirm or check their website. Even the infant baggage allowances change from airline to airline. Ironically the budget airlines do better in the infant baggage allowance department.

At the end of the day there is no fool proof way to avoid tantrums and boredom on a flight. Every child is different and they will go through stages when flying is easier than other times. Just embrace the chaos and take that flight, it will be worth it.